Friday 7 November 2008, my mom’s birthday, we are all at my sister’s house for a braai to celebrate. It was a great evening and we had no idea what the week ahead had install for us as a family.

I woke up the next morning pretty early as my son’s, Brandon age 10 and Gareth age 8, had a tennis match to play.  I was the lucky parent to be on duty and had to transport a few kids and also take the scores at the Eversdal Tennis club.

I was in the shower and my left breast felt a bit tender, almost like it was time for my periods, but the time was not correct, I rubbed my hand over my breast and felt a lump.  I must be honest, I was not good at checking my breasts often, so I wasn’t sure if this was normally there or not.  I immediately jumped out of the shower to ask my husband to feel and if that was normally there (who else knows your breasts well?), he said no, he has never felt this before.

He was working that day so he was not able to take over my duties in order for me to go to the doctor.   He made me promise to make an appointment and to see the doctor as soon as I was done with the tennis, which is normally around 10:30.

While I was at the Tennis, sitting on the grass, mind racing 100km per hour, but Cancer was not one of my thoughts, I mean, I don’t eat meat, I don’t smoke, I hardly drink alcohol, I am ONLY 34 and there is no Breast Cancer in my family, so I really didn’t stress about that.  My hubby called to ensure that I had made the appointment, which I hadn’t, I mean it is just going to go away in a few days.  I hadn’t called yet, but called immediately and made the appointment.

After dropping the kids at the club and handing in scores and dropping my kids at home, I went to the doctor.  I really thought she would just give me some antibiotics (don’t know what I was thinking antibiotics would fix) and send me home.

My doctor was fantastic, she didn’t show any signs that caused me to worry, but said I need to have a mammogram just to make sure and possibly fine-needle aspiration. My thoughts were ok, now it can be cancer as they only do mammograms for Cancer as I am only 34.

It is now Saturday almost 13h00, so no appointments can be made today, I had to wait till Monday.

What a LONG….. Weekend it was, we tried to keep it to ourselves but spoke to some of our friends at our church who prayed for us.

Monday came and they somehow managed to get an appointment for Tuesday afternoon for my mammogram.

My hubby took off to go with me, we went to Milnerton Medi Clinic for the Mammogram and possible fine-needle aspiration.

I told the radiographer that I am not scared for the mammogram, however, I hate needles and am not looking forward to the fine-needle aspiration.

The radiographer said maybe it’s not necessary for it and did the “mammo” and then the wait and the wait, which felt like 2 hours.  Finally, he enters and said that they are not going to do the fine-needle aspiration, but the Radiologist wants to do a sonar.

The Radiologist comes in and says he sees some calcification (I have no idea what this is, but still oblivious to what lay ahead)

I went back to the waiting room to wait for the report with hubby and again the wait feels like 2 hours, eventually, they called me to give me the report and said that I need to see a specialist and my GP would call me.

Well then all hell broke loose, I threw a tantrum of note, I started shouting at them and saying that I am in a hospital, why can’t I see a specialist NOW, I am not leaving until I have seen a specialist.

The head of Radiology, then came to fetch me and took my hubby and myself into his office and said: “please, Mrs.Byron, you need to understand, it is almost 16h00, NO specialist is going to see you now without an appointment.” I needed to wait for my GP to call me and tell me the way forward.

Dr de Wit only called after 18h30, I think I called their office about 30 times and was told she is busy.

She was again very professional and told me not to panic, but I need to see a specialist get clarification, however, her secretary had tried to call the whole of Cape Town and no one could see me this week, only in 2 weeks time, however, her husband was a General Surgeon and she could force him to see me this week, her words were “if he doesn’t, then he won’t get sandwiches for work”

She called me the Wednesday to say that I can see him on Thursday 13 November at 14h30 at Blaauwberg Netcare.

Hubby went with and Dr.Odendaal was my surgeon, he did the Fine Needle Aspiration, he was really great and wouldn’t let me see anything.  We chatted and he said that he would have the results around 16h00 the next day, Friday 14 November, I have a choice, either I can come in and or he can call me with the results.  We opted for the phone call, as our boys had tennis at 15h30 and then the traffic at that time to Blaauwberg was horrendous.

My husband had left to fetch the boys from their tennis practice, and I was alone at home.  Dr. Odendaal called and gave me the 3 words I never imagined I would hear, YOU HAVE CANCER…

I was very calm about it and called my husband, who was still driving and he was in a state when I told him, he had to pull over and just let everything out before putting on a brave face for our kids.

I ran next door to my neighbor and rang the bell and as she came out. I just burst out crying and gave her the news.

Brandon was about to start with the year-end exams, so this was very concerning, how do I tell him I have cancer, I felt like I had been given a death sentence, imagine what a 10-year-old would think.  His teacher stayed next door to one of his best friends, I called the dad and asked him to ask his teacher to give me a call.  She advised me to tell him, his marks were fine for the year and he had already passed so even if he didn’t write anything, he was fine.   We told Brandon but didn’t know how to tell Gareth.  I think we took a few days before we told him.

Brandon took the news very hard and was experiencing anxiety attacks, as was my husband.  Gareth’s main concern was whether I was going to lose my hair.

The next week was full of tests and doctor appointments, I was told it seems to be early, so I rejoiced and thought they would just do a lumpectomy……

I was so wrong. During one of my appointments, Dr.Odendaal said that unfortunately, there is more than one lump, and due to my age and also where the lumps are it is best to do the mastectomy. Again, I threw a tantrum of note.

As it was close to the end of the year and obtaining the authorizations, it was tough to coordinate the operation.  Eventually, my Plastic Surgeon, Dr. Struwig’s wife, put her foot down and chose a day and just told everyone it is happening on that day and deal with it. She was a no-nonsense lady and was amazing at coordinating it.

The op took place on Saturday 13 December 2008.

I was eventually discharged on Thursday 18 December 2008.

On Friday 19 December 2008, Dr. Odendaal called again to say that they found cancer in my sentinel lymph node and they need to remove the lymph nodes.  The op was scheduled for Tuesday 23 December 2008, a day after hubby’s birthday.  I was discharged on Christmas day, but not before the staff set up a suite for us to have Christmas lunch as a family.

Fast forward to my first chemo, what a day that way, it was the end of Jan, I was ok, but when the RED DEVIL started flowing, I cried like a baby.  A lady who had just finished came over and gave me a hug and told me to see this as something that is helping me. That night, my husband had to go out for something, so my mom and dad came to sit with me while he was out. When they left, there were a lot of sirens everywhere, and my sister then called, looking for my parents, I could tell by her voice, that something was wrong.  I managed to get her to tell me, that she and her 2 kids were in an armed robbery at their local Spar, they were there just before closing, and 5 guys entered the store and were scattered around the shop. My nephew went to the front of the store to browse at the magazines and so and old lady dropped money and went to the floor, Geoffrey then ran to help this old lady, but ran into the one robber who had a gun.  My sister called Geoffrey back and as he turned around, the robber grabbed his hoodie, Geoffrey managed to break loose and ran to my sister.  Fortunately, at that point, the robbers were disturbed and the Butcher pushed my sister and my niece and nephew into a small room in the butchery.  The guy which pulled at Geoffrey then came into the room, walked straight up to Geoffrey and held a gun to his head, and told him to hand over his phone.  Geoffrey tried to fight, but everyone just told him to give it.  He and his sister had received their phones for Christmas, 1 month prior.

Long story short, they managed to get out of the shop and get home safely.  One person who was parked in the car park was shot at, but no one was injured, Praise God.

Something which stuck by me since before the chemo, the counselor told me to dedicate each of my chemo’s to someone I love.

My first one was dedicated to my awesome Husband, my rock, and my pillar.

My 2nd Chemo was set for 18 February and this one I dedicated it to my brother’s child who was due to be born on 18 February 2008, we did not have any idea of the sex of the baby, but I knew that in order for me to meet this little pumpkin, I needed to have this poison put into my body.  Jayden was born on 10 February in the UK, so by the time I had my chemo, I could dedicate this chemo to no longer just a baby, but to Jayden.

My 3rd chemo was dedicated to my eldest son, Brandon, and my 4th to Gareth.  I was very blessed that due to the type of cancer which I had, I only needed 4 x chemo and no radiation.  Had they not found any cancer in the Lymph Node, which I might add, was about 3mm and the rest of the nodes were clear, I would not have needed any chemo.

I was also blessed as I was only sick after my 4th chemo, I was nauseous, but not sick.

My cancer was hormone receptive, so I had to endure 10 Long years of Tamoxifen and yes, I can tell you the side effects are terrible and I had many lows while on it, BUT, I am here 11 years on to tell the story.

My family, which includes, my husband, sons, parents, siblings, as well as extended family, friends, and my church, which I regard as family, have all been very supportive and encouraging.

In the beginning, I joined an online support group called Breast Buddies, which was absolutely amazing and one of the people on the group was Helen Son, unfortunately, Breast Buddies had to come to an end and Helen moved over to Wings of Hope.

For a while, Helen asked me to join Wings of Hope, initially, I joined on Facebook and kept up to date with what was happening.  in 2018, Wings of Hope Cape Town was born and Helen begged me to join, unfortunately, my son was in matric and was a first-team rugby player and that meant rugby matches were held on a Saturday morning, I promised to join as soon as I could.  The first meeting I joined was after the rugby season was over.

In June 2019, Nersan asked me to join the other committee members for Cape Town.  I was incredibly nervous about being involved, but I very quickly learned that Wings of Hope is not just a support group, but is a family as well.

In August of 2019, we launched the Wings of Hope Support Group in Durban and we were asked that some of us attend.  I agreed to attend, with Zanel and Ursula.  We had met at meetings, but we did not know a single thing about each other, when I was asked by friends who these ladies are and what they do, etc, I had to say I had no idea.

Let me tell you, we boarded that Mango flight on a Friday morning as TOTAL strangers, BUT when we disembarked, we weren’t only strangers, we were SISTERS, we bonded so well in the short time which we were there, even though we got hopelessly lost, yes even with Google Maps and drank from Toilet paper straws, we bonded and that was the birth of a very special relationship, which I feel strengthened Wings of Hope Cape Town.

I would like to encourage each one of you by saying that you need to remember that YOU are no. 1 when it comes to your healing, learn to say NO to others and YES to yourselves.